Tearing Through The Night.

The Situation:
so I'm writing this art history paper right now, i hate school so much you wouldn't understand, i know some people don't like school sure, but, nothing as dramatic as me, seriously i would rather be in prison than here, i want to just leave, go play music all over the united states; even if i had to walk everywhere i would like it better. School was not made for me, or I just not for it.
The Rut:
I don't want to disappoint my mother, I'm going to school to try and make her proud, "be a good kid", but it doesn't feel that way, it just feels like i am getting into tremendous Debt, and not having fun doing it, not enjoying it at all, and waisting her money, that's just what it feels like, i don't know anymore, i am a sophomore. Still i want to make her proud, i know that might not be a good thing, but, she has spent her whole life just being the best mother she has ever been, doing everything she could for all four of us, most of the time understanding what we are going through, and i want to show her that, that means something to me and this seems like the best way to do it, but i can't stand it here, at this very moment a tear just fell on my desk, seriously i don't know how much longer i can take it, (no not life, I'm not talking about suicide) just this life in general, that i have been put into, where i am at, i mean sure there are little things that are good and awesome. but the big picture is i hate this. completely,
i usually write music and songs about how i feel, here is how i feel right now, the "she" in the song can be interpreted as you may like, i wrote it about 45 min ago, and my intent for it is a girl in California i am crazy about, but i guess subconsciously i could have been writing about my mother too.. her we go..

The Song Lyrics. :


Tearing Through The Night

Could insanity explain this all?
To talk to the world.

Dear moon,
Would you please not shine tonight?
I don't wanna have to write
Another limerick or rhyme
A sonnet of love I cannot express
Of actions I cannot accept as Voluntary
Not truly

The Firefly's begin to twinkle in the twilight
Like the town used to, Tearing through the night
My thoughts are tearing through the night

Darkness Screaming Now
Angels Crying Loud
Twilight Breaking, I can't breath now
I cant take this,

Could Insanity explain this all?
To talk to the world.

Dear sun,
Could you please not shine so bright?
Your hurting my tear filled eyes,
Could you fade into the distance?
That would be a glorious Surprise
I don't wanna have to write words
I cannot Verbalize
Words she wouldn't understand.


The Firefly's begin to twinkle in the twilight
Like the town used to, Tearing through the night
My thoughts are tearing through the night

Darkness Screaming Now
Angels Crying Loud
Twilight Breaking, I can't breath now
I cant take this,

My heart breaks,
Angels cry,
I just lie,
This world is full of fakes,
I just sye,
I need to try,
Even when my heart breaks.

Darkness Screaming Now
Angels Crying Loud
Twilight Breaking, I try to breath now
I fight this all.